Archive for September, 2016

We all have a voice.

Posted: September 21, 2016 in Uncategorized

Holy shit, I can’t believe it’s been over two and a half years since I posted anything here.  Time just has a way of getting away from us, I suppose.

The last time I wrote in this space, it was just a few months after my father had died.  The family was picking up the pieces, and we’d just gone through our first Christmas without Jack, which was one of his favorite times of the year.

Fast forward to today, and I like to think we’re doing better.  That phrase, “Time heals all wounds” is somewhat true, but certainly not 100%.  I still think about old J.R. every day in some fashion, and I believe I always will.

Also during the past couple of years, I picked up a nagging, surprise-you-out-of-nowhere form of depression.  This is something that both does and doesn’t surprise me, when I think about it.  For one thing, I’m not happy where I’m at in my personal life; where others are either finding relationships, buying a new house, getting married and having kids, I mostly feel like I’m just spinning my wheels.  Professionally, things are great; I love being busy during the week and it’ll actually be ten years since I’ve been at this newspaper next March, but I certainly wish my paychecks reflected that.  I suppose everybody feels like that in their own jobs.

That all being said, I feel like an asshole for even thinking that this is even “real” depression.  There are obviously A LOT more people out there with A LOT more personal demons than I might have, so I don’t talk about it.  I just scribble up something funny and throw it on Facebook, sometimes when I really just wanna be taken more seriously.  The problem is that nobody likes to talk about that kind of stuff.  And I don’t blame them.  Bell can do a million of those “Let’s Talk Day” events that raise money for mental illness, but it doesn’t erase any stigma that may exist in your own social and family circles.  It’s hard to talk about this kind of stuff because it’s difficult to convey to someone just what the hell is bothering you to begin with, if that makes any sense?

However, I guess that I’m pretty fortunate in my case.  I’m lucky to have a lot more good days than bad.  But when those bad days DO come, oh boy.  The world outside my own bullshit doesn’t exist to me on those days; I’m just on auto-pilot if I’m out in public until I reach the sanctity of my home.  It’s to the point where sometimes, I think it’s affecting the friendships I have with people, or that I THINK I still have with people.  Sometimes I won’t text anyone to hang out because I think I’m bothering them, or that I’m a hassle to be around.

See?  Lost in my own bullshit again!

I’m happy to report that there ARE things in my life that I’m excited about.  It sure as hell isn’t all gloom and doom.  I’m glad that things are busy at work, as Outlook finds itself in the midst of a civic election and this new swimming pool facility is officially a go.  I’m also on the road over the next two weekends; this one it’s Regina for my buddy Kyle’s sister’s wedding celebration.  Next weekend it’s Calgary, where I finally get to see one of my favorite comedians perform, Jim Gaffigan.  (the Hot Pocket guy, or the pale guy you’ve been seeing in those Chrysler minivan ads with the 9,000 kids he has)

On top of that, I’m coming up with some ideas for a zombie movie I’d like to shoot next spring.  Kyle and I have talked about doing one for years now, and last weekend we were shooting the shit in his basement when we saw a poster for an upcoming screening in Swift Current of a zombie flick.  I guess it kinda inspired me, so I’ve been jotting down notes on possible storylines, shooting locations, epic zombie death sequences, all that fun stuff.  I’m also keeping a firm foot planted in having fun with it; it’s not exactly Scorsese material I’m gunning for here.  You get a bunch of friends together, throw some makeup on them, and shoot some footage.  I’d love to film it next May or June, and then maybe hold a screening where the proceeds go to a charity or some non-profit group.

Anyway, this up-to-speed post on where I’m at right now leads me to just why I decided to post in this blog space again.  I think it’s time I use it as a platform for anything that’s on my mind.  A space that separates Derek the Reporter from Derek the Person.  I have opinions on things, just as all of you do.  I have random thoughts on about a million different topics; again, just as all of you do.  So, that’s what this blog will be about; my random thoughts and opinions about this, that, and everything in between as we all spin about on this whirling planet called Earth.

No holds barred.

No punches pulled.

NO MERCY!

“Man, he got a little violent at the end, didn’t he?”

In the meantime, and in between time…..

DWR

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